by Amelia Kanan
Once in awhile things are so good. Like, sunshine and lollipops good. Like, so good you’re kind of happy you had all those sad times so you can fully appreciate that goodness you get to snuggle up into.
Most of the time though, things suck. I’m sorry. That might be a little dramatic. But, it’s kind of true and we totally do it to ourselves. No matter if you’re in a happy relationship, you love your job, enjoy your life – it doesn’t matter. You still get angry, sad, hurt, lonely, or scared. That’s probably the worst of them all. Feeling scared. That stupid feeling ends up leading to all those other sucky feelings.
You’re in a happy relationship. You get scared it’s too happy. You start to read into stupid things. You start feeling hurt. That hurt makes you feel angry or sad. And then that anger or sadness turns into sadness or anger. You project that sadness and anger onto your happy relationship. You ruin the happiness. You ruin the relationship. Then you’re lonely.
You have a really great job. You get scared it’s too great. You start to read into stupid things. You want to protect yourself from the sadness that might come when they might fire you. You get angry. You project that anger onto your job, your coworkers, your work. You get fired. Then you feel hurt, lonely and sad.
You enjoy your life. You feel scared that a shoe’s going to drop. You try and figure out where it’s going to fall. On your job, your relationship, is your dad going to die, are you going to die? You isolate yourself, making you feel lonely. You get sad. You feel angry at everyone else who is happy. Then you feel hurt because life is so unfair.
Thank god I’m nothing like that.
Fuck those sucky feelings. Don’t let them bite you.